by Sara Mendez
In my job, I’ve helped a lot of people quit smoking. And I’ve heard a lot of reasons why smoking is a good thing.
I’ve been told smoking sharpens your mind, relaxes you, calms you, keeps you from yelling at the kids (or spouse), tastes good with coffee, tastes better after a meal. In short, makes you feel “better”. (I always ask “better than what”?)
You don’t believe these reasons. Not really. If you did, you wouldn’t also want to quit smoking. Right? Actually you CAN have it both ways. You can believe your reasons to smoke at the same time you don’t believe them. It is the difference between ‘knowing’ something and ‘feeling’ something.
The obvious and overlooked part is you must have a strong reason to continue smoking or you would have already stopped. By the way, there is no law that says your reason to keep smoking has to make any logical sense. It rarely does.
You’ve probably already proven your reasons untrue. Smoking might taste better with coffee because the coffee taste on your tongue covers the bad taste of smoking???
And most of the time you’re AWARE it doesn’t make sense. That doesn’t change anything though, does it? Just one more log to toss on the fire of your motivation to quit. A fire that doesn’t have much chance against the ocean of your craving to smoke.
There are two important sides to this. The feeling that smoking will make you feel better and, the feeling you want to feel better than. That’s what needs to be changed.
If you’re thirsty you crave something to drink. If you’re hungry you crave food. If you feel bad (tired, stressed, overwhelmed, angry, lonely, whatever…) you want to feel good. And, whatever your mind has been taught feels good, you will crave.
This is simple explanation of a craving. Some smokers have more than one type of craving, the ‘first thing in the morning’ craving might feel different than the ‘on the phone’ craving.
So how to help this situation? I can spend a few articles explaining it (and I have, look for them) But, it comes down to changing the feelings, motivations and beliefs involved.
First, the bad feeling needs to be helped. If it’s about stress, get it managed, if it’s a difficult situation, do what you can to take care of it or get some help. If it’s a bad feeling you get that is beyond what the situation deserves, behavior modification might be what you need.
Second, the belief that smoking makes you feel good (it is often the mistaken, and understandable, belief that smoking equals being an adult, in control, strong, capable, etc…) The fact is, smoking is some plant leaf and chemicals wrapped in paper. The good feeling you’re looking for, and sometimes experience, is created by YOU. YOU make yourself feel better when you smoke. You can make yourself feel just as good when drinking a glass of water. If, your mind believes it.
And that’s the trick. Quit smoking is mainly about modifying behavior. That’s why the success rate of medication and nicotine replacement alone is so poor. The only current exception is Chantix and even Pfizer, the makers of Chantix, recommend behavior modification along with the medication.
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